we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
