Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
