You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
