She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
