Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
