Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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