I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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