I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
