i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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