Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
