You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
