i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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