This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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