If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
