drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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