I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
