So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
