Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
