Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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