Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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