at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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