Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
