we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
