I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
