I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
