Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
