I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
