Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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