EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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