It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
