Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
