I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
