i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
