found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
