low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
