i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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