i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
