Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
