We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
