i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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