Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
