Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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