somebody snuck up and got me drunk
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
