So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
