I've blown a few things in my day
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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