i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
