i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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