oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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