capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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