Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
